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为什么，需要你的时候你却不在。
为什么，你不在的时候才发现有多需要你。
为什么，总是忽远忽近，忽冷忽热。

为什么。

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I love watching concerts. They remind me again and again why i want so much to be on stage performing for people. (:

We always need to take a step back and view something as an outsider again to come to re-appreciate that entity and rekindle the love for it. Being too involved in what you’re doing (although you may really liked it) sometimes makes you lose sight of its beauty or fun factor or value. Distance lends enchantment to the view. I remember reading this phrase before. Wow i can’t believe i’m putting it to use!

I like to perform. I enjoy the feeling of being on stage with everyone else, playing in unison, sounding the music from our hearts that reaches to move the hearts of people down stage, putting a smile on their faces and lifting their weary souls, like what the SSO concert did to me today (yesterday already). I smiled on so many occasions during the concert because the music simply made me smile and smile, right from the first piece.

Most importantly, I DON’T NEED TO TALK! HOORAY ;D

But the pieces i have to play now are so technically demanding, i worry about too many other details to fully enjoy playing on stage. So… I gotta work harder and BECOME A PRO SO THERE’S NOTHING TO WORRY besides making people leave the concert hall feeling rejuvenated, their souls broadened. (:

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I find it absolutely eerie how i’m always watching consecutive dramas with the SAME person as the lead. THIS IS FREAKING ME OUT.

I usually watch dramas very randomly with no expectations for their stories or cast. (Unless i’m watching for the cast.) It’s like i never ever knew who that actor/actress was and now i’m watching consecutive dramas with that person acting as the lead. It’s too coincidental, it’s spooky!!

734 — 2011; another closing chapter

It’s been two weeks into the new year and i am finally sitting down to round up the year of 2011. I used to post this annual post exactly on 31st Dec but i think.. i’ve grown out of my superstition! I don’t know if anyone is still in the new year mood but i will post this anyway.

2011 is a year.. filled with laughter, thrills, tears and terror. It is the year i made the most number of friends, the year i rekindled relationships that have died many years ago, the year where i spent half the time drowning in notes, the year i fell and stood up again and again, the year i decided i would 活在当下 (it’s a very high order of living really), the year i concluded 12 years of education.

I still remember on the last day of 2010, i counted down to 2011 with my cousin at Orchard. The day felt like any other normal day, but it was amazing how everyone was feeling so hyped and fresh as we walked on the streets of Orchard after the count down. It’s as if things will naturally become better and they will become better humans with the start of a new year. It was then i truly understood that every day is a new day that can be counted down to and i don’t have to wait for a new year to change myself or set new resolutions because every day is a brand new day, not only 01/01 of any year. With that i was determined to make the best out of 2011 and not let it be another passing year.

I wanted so much to change everything, to rid my life of all the unhappiness created in 2010. One thing I learnt is not to take things to heart easily and not be so uptight about everything. I set out the new year wanting to be a fun-loving and sociable person (LOL I TRIED I TRIED). I discarded memories of 2010 and tried to catch up with the people around me like my classmates and friends, whom I have totally turned a blind eye towards while I was circling round and round in my own glass castle. I wanted to appreciate the things around me more rather than brooding over the past, worrying about the far future, thinking about people who can’t be bothered about me or imagining rubbish.

I wanted to revive the heart of a kid within me, because i remember as a kid, the present was what mattered. A kid lives in the present. I don’t know if i really did but i followed where my heart led me to and allowed my emotions to flow as they liked with little restrictions (just like a kid). 2011 has been extraordinary because of that (:

Here are some highlights of the year. (Highlights, but it’s really long O:)

Jan

January marked the start of a new year. I tried my best to start afresh, to change who i was (be thick-skinned, be happy), to build strong relationships with people around me. It began with HCSE chalet where we celebrated Kim’s 18th birthday and cycled through the night.

Then there was HCJC open house “Rhapsody” where we played two pieces with rx on the drums. We rocked the (non-existent) stage! That’s the banner we painted! We came up with a name for that lady. She’s called Veri (very) Black. Shortly after, 7H juniors came in. I was blessed with two extremely sweet angel and mortal who showered me with tidbits, sweets, chocolates and love letters.

Feb

February saw an early CNY celebration. 7H cooked and sold hotdogs in school and we lao-ed yu sheng together. It was so amusing, the yu sheng was all over the place (and all over my hand). By the time we finished lao-ing, half the yu sheng was gone! I went to m’sia as usual and had a rare full family reunion. 5 restaurant tables! My uncle’s effort to gel the family is really commendable.

Back in Singapore, we had a HCSE 团拜 at Kim’s, Joan’s and Alwyn’s house. I only turned up for the Kim’s part because i left for 7H gathering at Justin’s house, which was err.. one of our more successful class gathering.

Then there was a CNY performance at SGH with HCSE and NYSE mates. I love gig performances.

Shortly after it was Valentines’ Day. Dr Tan came to rehearsal with a bag full of chocolates heh. Alwyn then treated us to Island Creamery after rhsl. Rich poke.

In the mean time it was hardcore preparation for OMM Penang trip. I practised till 11pm every night before starting on hw. Everything was just put into disequilibrium then. It was a hard period but it was all worth it because i spent my best 2 days of 2011 with a fantastic bunch of people. While others in Singapore were studying for the upcoming Econs test, we were shopping, having supper, playing Indian poker, talking rubbish and listenining to Simon’s love story till 4am!! It was then i learnt the meaning of indulging in the moment. For once i put my mind off school because school’s not everything. As Kim puts it, ENJOY LIFE! We thoroughly did it (:

2 weeks after the trip was HCSE Concertante concert which OMM friends turned up to support. Honoured honoured.

February is the most hectic but best month of the year.

Mar

March began with an OMM performance at SOTA that killed me, before panicking over theory exam. I am admittedly a theory idiot even after 4 years of hmp. This whole period just sucked so much but there were a few who supported me along, who made me saw true friendship . It was that unexpected simple SMS from YOU that gave me strength. Thank you so much (:

A huge earthquake then shook the land of Japan, plunging its people (and me) into a period of darkness. I was glad to be safely studying for Block Test 1 at home.

Apr

In April we had our LAST NAPFA EVER. I hate napfa so much. But attained a gold! Obtained permission from Dr Tan to be excused from CCA to go to malaysia for a short escapade while giving Artemis’ fac outing a miss. April was a period of mad prep for SYF. We attained the award we had all been longing for and working towards – Gold with honours (: My closer friends also achieved the best results in their respective CCAs so i could rejoice whole-heartedly.

May

May was a month i looked forward to a lot, because GANTZ was finally going to play in Singapore theatres. I’m happy my first NC16 is a Nino’s movie. Watched it with a few JCC mates. It is a pity i lost the ticket stub when i lost my wallet.

My entire May is dedicated to TPY Care corner…

And CCA in preparation for L’arc-en-cial concert. Because of rehearsals i was unable to see through so many sessions of care corner activities although i was involved in planning them. It’s a pity i cannot spend more time with the people there.

In the mean time we had HCSE STJ at The Orchard Residences. ZOMG THAT PLACE IS PLAIN AWESOME.

There was also 7H STJ at Pasir Ris park.

Then it was work, work and more work.

Adopt a teru teru bozu project with Pris and Ky.

And May concluded with JCC annual camp NIJI. I witnessed the power of patience and love again from my 7-year-old buddy who has impaired hearing, can only wail to get what he wants and slightly hyperactive. It was a magical feeling when i cuddled him to hush him down.

Jun

June was a mad studying period for Block Test 2.

But i spent it more on my violin than notes because of OMM Windflower.

It was hell of a fun time First time performing in Esplanade concert hall and first time playing with Gabriel Ng!

My cousin went to support me. Popped up at her house after the concert and had a camwhoring session with my cousins. It’s the first time we all took a photo together.

2 days before the concert there was HCSE JTS. We deliberately camwhored and uploaded the photos on facebook to niao the people who went night cycling, got caught in the rain and was freezing in macs. The photo at the bottom is our batch photo with Serene in the laptop lol. Creepy.

Jul

July was a period when we had Block Test 2, when we stepped down from our CCAs and when we began to concentrate fully on studies. Prisci was wiring for her taekwondo mates the whole time. I got her to make me a ‘Jin’ :p

Went to Botanical Gardens to support SNYO. The turn up was huge. The sunset that day was really pretty. I swear the sky was pink like in the photo!

7H went to watch Harry potter together.

And i popped by AKB48′s shop and cafe at SCAPE. So cool luh. If only there was a JE shop here. But no my pocket will burn.

Then there was 7H JTS at Sakae sushi. That’s Kenneth the carnivorous monk picking out vege from his handroll, and huijun being very cool at pool with crocobit at the back!!

(:

Aug

August was a full-time studying period which i spent with my buddies in the reading room into the night everyday. I will never forget it :’)

In the mean time we celebrated our last National Day in school. No one wanted to sing with me!

Last official classroom day in school.

We located to other study areas when reading room started to get flooded.

Received a gift from E, brought all the way from Aberdeen :p

Sep

September began with Teachers’ Day celebration. I went back to school just to watch the juniors. Sorry but we were way cooler when we performed. We stood up playing, played from memory and had drums! Like a pop concert

Then it was MAF where we celebrated cn’s and alvin’s birthday, sat in a circle at tiantang eating mooncakes, played with candles and lanterns, just like little kids. Really must thank Alwyn for always planning such stuff. We then had a large HCSE family photo shoot! Minus our juniors lol… dunno where they went.

Received a rosE that day (:

All over the island with ky!

By myself at my secret hideout – Marina Square foodcourt hahaha. Empty with nice fengjing.

Shirlynn’s birthday celebration + KTV with HCSE.

Oct

October was all about revision lectures, more revision lectures and hardcore mugging. Econs revision lecture was the most BOOMZXZX.

And it’s little things like these that made me smile and enjoy every moment in school.
From my good old buddy (:

Hehe. Police car and ambulance (:

Then it was Graduation Day. Camwhoring with twin during boring ceremony.

Buddies! Minus minnie mouse.

Sherbit and twin!!

Then it was my cousin’s 2nd birthday celebration + house warming.

A week later was another cousin’s 1st birthday celebration. He fell asleep immediately after the birthday song orz.

Fooling around with cousins.

Nov

November was the start of A level.
Felt lost and directionless.
Camped in the library reading books and hiding away from the world.
Watched so many movies.

Dec

Dec marked the end of A level. The day after it ended i was called out for lunch with the twins and sherbit at Seoul Garden. Ate till 5pm. We were such bad kids that day!!

Candy chef at TAKA (:

Sleepover at cousin’s house.

Watched SNYO concert and went to drink.

Idiot’s 21st birthday celebration. It was an insane day.

SPRING CLEANING.

Then i went off to be a kampong girl. This is my incredibly adorable nephew (:

Made tangyuan for winter solstice. 兜风 around pengerang.

I had another best period of 2011 there and then. Spent Christmas eve singing again, only this time at a really weird kampong karaoke.

Back in Singapore was mudpie and pool date with ky before i went back to kampong again to cross the year with my cousins.

All in all, 2011 was a rather eventful year. A year that i will always remember, for the special things that happened and the special people that came into my life. All the relationships i made in 2011, i hope they will go on forever. Not forgetting too, my good old buddies (:

There are still many things i wanna say but shall do it in the next post. Till then, jaa!

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